As time goes by, I am amazed of the effect that a good role model can have in a child’s life. Children, adolescents, and grown people are the product of two guardians committing to there well being. I recently heard a quote from a father lamenting his absence from his children’s lives during WWII. He went on to say that half the job of being a father was just providing warm houses, placing shoes on feet, providing hot dinners, and just showing up.
This idea of just being present resonated with me. I realized that what I treasured most about my father was the time he gave to me. I remember the early homework sessions, the shared stories, and the day I thought my heart would burst with happiness. My best friend Tracey and I were jumping rope in the driveway with a bunch of neighborhood kids. My parents arrived home and parked on the street so that we could continue jumping. My dad set down his bag of groceries and jumped into our turning rope. I was stunned and delighted. That day has been etched in my mind as one of the happiest times of my life. I wondered why this memory still seems so clear. While it is wrapped in a color washed patina, it is still filled with all of the scents, light, and joy of that day.
I think I understand now. Time is a precious commodity. It is the most valuable thing we have to sell in this life. When men shower their attention and love on a child, the child is enriched and made important in their world. They are validated by the unspoken approval given when a parent deems them worthy of time and consideration.
Men so often are absent. We expect them to be men and provide in acceptable venues. We question their manliness if they do not bring home considerable “bacon”. I believe that men bring a more valuable currency to the family. They bring their time and energy. That is what will change lives, our planet, and our children. Time spent versus money spent is what we should measure a successful man by.
Any boy can have a paper route…it takes a man to raise a family.

<Australia’s Sun Coast

There comes a moment in every mothers life when she realizes that the boy she took care of as a child has become a man. Oh, there were hints, whiffs, and physical manifestations that the growing process had begun along the way. But, one day your son does something that speaks to your heart. That moment tells you that your boy is now a man. While there were hints as I said before, the pivotal moment occurred for me last year.
Every year Nathaniel and I travel together with students to far away places. We interview and then prepare them throughout the year. The real test is how they conduct themselves in a foreign land away from parents and family. Our goal is to create a temporary family unit while they are away from their own. But, as you know, students get homesick and every child is open to some high jinks. After a couple of days into our expedition to Australia, I noticed that all the young men were straining to be with Nathaniel or to at least emulate him. Some of the girls developed crushes, but the most important thing was the comfort and safety he provided. Nathaniel helped heal some of the homesickness which is a natural part of international travel. The most eye opening part of our trip was the way that Nathaniel rallied the male members of our delegation to feel responsible for our delegation. All the boys helped with the management of our luggage and the safety of our female members. My son was showing boys how to become men.
Nathaniel was a funny, athletic, polite, moody, game playing boy. Nathaniel is now a musical, kind, and thoughtful man. His maturation has been a wonderful thing to behold.